Note that the results of all of this are not under our control, but God's control.
...
We can have some of our burden lifted when we realize that the actual life change comes from God and we cannot make people change?
We're losing our families today by not instructing them. In the Old Testament, God demonstrates himself as Master/Servant, Husband/Wife, and Father/Child. Looking at Ephesians 5:22 - 6:9, we can see all of these revealed: Husband/Wife, Father/Child, and Master/Servant. Note that servants in the New Testament were considered as part of the family. The implication is that all of these are family relationships.
The Man's Responsibility to His Himself: Put it on Your Heart (Deuteronomy 6:4)
Note that this is more than just having the word of God on our mind, we need to actually have it go deeper.
How can this be done?
Study, pray, open the Bible and listen, meditate on a verse (contemplate its meaning, not emptying your mind), worship, music.
The Man's Responsibility to His Children: Teach Intentionally (Deuteronomy 6:7)
In Deuteronomy 6:7, "teach" means to whet, or sharpen. The word of God does the work, but we need to bring our families into contact with the word of God.
Randall: For years, all he did was get a good study Bible, spend 30 minutes going over the passage and be ready to explain the passages as he read, and read out of the Bible to his family. It felt strange to start, but it was done. The worst way to do family devotions is not to do them at all.
Study Bibles - NASB Study Bible, ESV Study Bible, Life Application Study Bible, NIV Study Bible, MacArthur Study Bible
Besides family devotions, how can this be done?
VeggieTales, NEST videos, JellyTelly, Music, Scripture Songs - good for younger kids
Older kids - open for discussion, depends on the kid
Warning came up about relying purely on videos and music. They will tend to see it only as entertainment so we need to be careful.
Video games came up as well, but need to be careful of what we buy and the quality of the game.
The man's Responsibility to His Children: Teach Incidentally (Deuteronomy 6:7)
What is presumed here? That you know your subject matter and that you are spending time with your children and family. As with last week, you can be present, but not spending time with them.
When can this be done? When watching movies or television, reading books, car trips, walking. Can challenge the children to think when they're watching something. Games or sports by asking what they learned today and use Scripture as appropriate. When on vacation, especially when out in nature. When they are going through school.
Most important time to be there for a child is in the morning, right after school, and at bedtime.
Can talk with children right after church as well, but be very careful about complaining or criticism. Kids will pick up on that.
"Doing Book" - buy two copies of a book and go through the book together with the child. Start by choosing a book that would be helpful for your children. It doesn't have to be Christian, but should be helpful to them in some area. Just as we tend to watch non-Christian shows, we can read a non-Christian Book and discuss.
Try to prepare them for adolescence, if possible.
Over a period of time, you will be teaching them to evaluate all of life against the plumb-line of God's truth. If they are ready for this, they won't be surprised or out of control when they leave the house. They will be ready to make their own choices wisely.
The Man's Responsibility to His Children: Take It With You
"Bind them on your hand" - in Egyptian culture, the people would wear amulets. God wants us to counter that lie with His truth.
Two Extremes
1. A "Bunker Mentality" - hole up away from the world and not let anything in.
2. Simply drifting with the world.
The Man's Responsibility to His Children: Put it Up (Deuteronomy 6:8)
A lot of cultures have some way of reminding people of things. Tying a string around your finger or similar activities. Here are some things we can do to help our family.
Possible Strategy:
1. Pray for each member of the family, asking God to show you what their individual needs are. Do not focus on what we want or how we want them to change, focus on what they need in their lives at that time. E.g., your child may have a problem with honesty and God should reveal to you that they need help with the truth.
2. Go to a concordance or topical Bible, finding several scriptures that apply in each of these areas.
3. Run your scripture list by each family member, asking them to choose their favorite scripture in each area.
4. Have each family member (or perhaps just the children) print up all the favorite verses on the computer and put them up throughout the house. You will have reminders everywhere you go, in the areas where your family needs to be strengthened the most, and everyone in the family got to help. This will help them be reminded of this as they go through the house. Try to make it look nice if possible or let the children decorate it somehow.
If they start feeling that you're pointing out a weakness, be sure they know that your goal is to help strengthen them, not to punish or belittle them.
Try to pray out loud for your family. It can be a difficult thing to do if you're not used to praying out loud. If you struggle in this area, try to start praying out loud when you're by yourself. That can help you be more comfortable when you're around your family. If your children hear you pray, they will be more comfortable praying.
The Man's Responsibility to His Children: Guard and Nurture Them (Genesis 18:19)
In Genesis 18:19, the word "keep" means to guard, but with nurturing care. Abraham was to be the guardian of his family.
"commanding his children" indicates authoritative instruction. The authority came from God's word.
Context of this verse is important - it occurs right before Sodom is about to be judged for its sins. Implication is that Lot drifted along with the people around him, while Abraham guarded his family.
Two possible extremes:
Nurture without authority
Authority without nurture
One other pitfall:
Going from one extreme to the other (trying to find a middle ground and going to far in both directions).
We must be especially diligent to identify the sins of our culture that are diametrically opposed to our faith, and teach our children why they are wrong, where in scripture they're addressed, and how they can stand strong against temptation in those areas.
Watch for the sins of our culture when we're going through our normal daily routine - music, news, movies, tv, etc. A lot of things get by us because we're caught up in the story more than watching what's going on.
Some of our cultural sins are:
Homosexuality, Abortion, Adultery, Greed, Materialism, Lying, Pride
The Man's Responsibility to His Children: Discipline and Instruct Them (Ephesians 6:4)
Discipline and instruction of the Lord - guarding and nourishing
What are ways fathers can provoke their children?
- Expectations they cannot meet.
- When we're angry with them.
- Selfishness in our motives
- Violent or unpredictable displays of temper
- Inconsistent standards
- Only severe consequences
- Lack of freedom to grow or as they grow
- Not communicating expectations
- Lots of rules w/ no love.
Discipline - natural consequences or admonishments
Instruction - reminders of consequences and reasons for things.
Ephesians 5:29 - nourish and cherish our families
2 Kings 10:1 - Ahab had guardians for his children - implies that he wasn't present with them, but delegated his task as a parent.
